Entry for September 16, 2007
Mom is refusing to eat. It has been about five days since she had any solid food. The hospital is keeping her hydrated via IVs, but Mom says she has no appetite, is nauseous, the food has strange odors and tastes. She seemed more confused today that she has been in a couple of days. When I was there, she was talking to one of my brothers who was not even in the room. She could not remember my name today.
They got her out of bed for an evaluation today. She cannot stand on her own, and has substantial loss of motor function on her left side. She also has a partial vision loss in her left eye. Her speech is still clear, but her thoughts are jumbled again.
The MRI showed no tumor, that there was a great deal of bleeding into her brain.
The doctors are saying that a feeding tube now needs to be inserted to provide nutrition until she starts eating on her own. They are trying to get her out of the ICU into a semi-private room but her condition never improves enough to pull off the transfer.
There is still a long rocky row to hoe for this old farm girl. I believe her condition is survivable, and that it is possible for her to have a great deal of quality time on this earth. I know this woman very well, and what bothers me is that I see something missing. I am not seeing the inner strength, the fight, the fire, the will to live. She is still as courageous as she has always been but so far I have not seen the spark of life that has always been there for her and for her family. Her seventy-five years on this earth have rarely found moments of rest. She is very tired, and physically she is drained. I pray she finds an ember of life left somewhere.
Photo above is my Great Great Grandfather, Civil War Veteran, Company C, First Kentucky Cavalry, U.S.
Mom and Dad had antecedents on both sides of that bloody conflict. Counties were split, towns were split, and families were split. It was never as simple as being the north versus the south.
The Preacherman says, "My advice to you is to get yourself a gun and learn how to shoot." The Gunman says, "My advice to you is to get yourself a Bible and learn how to pray."
TRIGGER WARNING: Guns have triggers.
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