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Vive la liberté! Vive all y'all!
Ante omnia armari
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Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Entry for March 18, 2009
I started this program at 215 pounds … this morning I weighed in a 220 pounds; I am absorbing calories from the air I breathe and the water I drink. At this rate, I will be 260 pounds by July. Must have real food … must have bacon … will settle for breadcrumbs soaked in bacon grease. What is that I smell? Mmmmm … cat food …
The results of this diet warrant drastic action … there is only one way out … self-liposuction. Does a shopvac work for liposuction in the wet mode or the dry mode? Where did I put my caping knife …? The vac has a 5-gallon container … should be enough … I hope …