DISCLAIMER: Entries at this blog are akin to good old-fashioned campfire chats; I have no opinion on what you should / should not purchase or what you should be using / doing. What does or does not work for me could be many country miles away from your tastes and needs. Any products, places, and / or thingies that I review for this blog are purchased at retail price by me. I do not accept payment, gifts, discounts, "freebies," products on loan, demon alcohol, drugs, probation, parole, Presidential Pardons, or sexual favors (of any flavor) for doing any review.
The Preacher said, "My advice to you is to get yourself a gun and learn how to use it."

To all y'all,

The year 2017 has been and will continue to be extraordinarily CHALLENGING and BUSY for me. Blog entries will likely be even more infrequent than usual until all projects and issues are completed or resolved.

Thanks for stopping by. I really do appreciated it.

Best wishes,


Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Entry for March 18, 2009

Just finished my third week of doctor prescribed diet and exercise; I am getting too weak to type … must have pizza … send help soon … cannot last much longer.

I started this program at 215 pounds … this morning I weighed in a 220 pounds; I am absorbing calories from the air I breathe and the water I drink. At this rate, I will be 260 pounds by July. Must have real food … must have bacon … will settle for breadcrumbs soaked in bacon grease. What is that I smell? Mmmmm … cat food …

The results of this diet warrant drastic action … there is only one way out … self-liposuction. Does a shopvac work for liposuction in the wet mode or the dry mode? Where did I put my caping knife …? The vac has a 5-gallon container … should be enough … I hope …


Mulligan said...

I think I must be on that same diet

James A. Zachary Jr. said...

Yeah, man. The joys of upper middle age ;)

Steve said...

Maybe you're building muscle.

When they deprive us Southerners of one of the basic food groups [bacon] we soon waste away . . . or gain weight; the result is unpredictable.

Billll said...

I remember an episode of Bloom County in which Bill the Cat was attempting to perform liposuction on Opus using a shop vac with a funnel on the intake.
The end results were nowhere near what the objections of Opus would have suggested.