Crowd for Punxsutawney Phil larger than at the inauguration of either Trump or Obama

The large crowd size in part may have been due to confusion about "Gobbler's Knob."  Many guys thought the sign read "Knob Gobblers" and took that to mean Madonna would be at the event to begin fulfilling her famous campaign promise.

Many international feminist organizations objected to the above photo, saying that it looked far too much like POTUS Donald Trump holding a beaver.

Punxsy Phil said six more weeks of winter; no early spring is in the forecast.  Americans reacted with their usual stoic resolve and dignity.



FALSE NEWS DISCLAIMER: I do hope y'all know that this blog post is a spoof ...