The Gunslinger said, "My advice to you is to get yourself a Holy Book, then learn how to pray."
The Preacherman said, "My advice to you is to get yourself a gun, then learn how to shoot."
The Politician said, "My advice to you is to get yourself free of superstitions and weapons, then learn how to trust in me."


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Sunday, April 12, 2009


The voices in my head were nagging me about the top of the family room gun safe being such a mess. For many years, I had dutifully put receipts for my gun purchases and repairs into a file, and new holsters into the holster box. About eight years ago, the file box became full and I got into a slovenly habit of just stacking new paperwork, along with holsters, snap-caps, spare grips, gun rags, etc. on top of the gun safe. On Friday, I decided to clean things up so I bought a fireproof lockbox exclusively to store the purchase and repair receipts, factory manuals, and the sale and consignment records. The holsters are also now properly stowed, as well as every other odd and end. It took me five hours to sort through the mess and complete the project. That corner of the family room has never looked better. The voices are happy.

Saturday morning there was a follow-up visit to the vet for one of the cats. Coyote (a 13-year-old female tabby) developed a bad case of feline chin acne a couple of months ago. After weeks of antibiotic pills and ointments, today she scored a clean bill of health. The vet was kind enough to give today’s exam free of charge.

The local hardware store had a 20% off sale, so I decided it was time to check some more things off my “to do” list. I bought my new American Flag for the year; it now proudly hangs by the front door, a light on it at night. I hang a new flag every spring; I have quite an accumulation of worn flags that I need to arrange for proper disposal. For a change, this year I had no problem finding a new flag made in the USA. I will quit displaying The American Flag when I can no longer find one made in the USA.

The big expensive bag of weed-and-feed (fertilizer / weed killer) now sits in the garage. Next week I will spread it on the lawn if my innate laziness and the weather permit. Laziness trumps all; that is the first rule of retirement.

I also bought a can of ant spray and a can of hornet spray to do some preemptive work on certain problem areas of the house. During the warmer days of this spring I had noticed quite a number of active hornets, so I want to keep them in check. So far, the slab ants have not been active but they shall return.

Now I need to check the snares in the backyard to see if I caught that wascally Easter wabbit.

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