The Preacher said, "My advice to you is to get yourself a gun and learn how to use it."


DISCLAIMER: Entries at this blog are akin to good old-fashioned campfire chats; I offer no opinion on what you should or should not purchase or what you should be using or doing. What does or does not work for me could be many country miles away from your tastes and needs. Any products, places, and / or doodads that I review for this blog are purchased at retail price by me. I do not accept payment, gifts, discounts, "freebies," products on loan, demon alcohol, drugs, probation, parole, Presidential Pardons, or sexual favors of any flavor for doing any review.
COOKIES IN USE: NOTICE TO VISITORS FROM ABROAD: We appreciate our many vistors from outside the USA. I feel obligated to mention that your government may not approve of you stopping by here to peruse the blog entries regarding GUNS. This here Internet thing is not about freedom for any of us; the Internet is about amassing unimaginable wealth for corporate giants. Insofar as governments, foreign or domestic, the Internet is all about surveillance and control. No matter where any of us choose to surf the web, there are always sharks in the water.


NOTICE: To all y'all,

The year 2017 has been and will continue to be extraordinarily CHALLENGING and BUSY for me. Blog entries will likely be even more infrequent than usual until all projects and issues are completed or resolved.

Thanks for stopping by. I really do appreciated it.

Best wishes,

Zack



Friday, February 13, 2009

Happy Valentine's Day



“Buy her diamonds,” say the commercials on radio, television, and the internet. Cram it, it ain’t gonna happen. I don’t care how much these commercials try to shame me into feeling cheap or unsuccessful, there ain’t gonna be any Valentine’s Diamond. Nor will there be a new Lexus in the driveway, wrapped in a big red heart-shaped ribbon.

Many women, if not most, hate Valentine’s Day. Not having a significant other, or having one that doesn’t deliver a gift, can be painful. Valentine’s Day is a cruel day of angst. Even if she has a love, and he has righteously shown up with a dozen roses year after year, eventually she will wonder why the loser hasn’t bought her a Rolex like Mr. Successful in the TV commercials.

The only guys that like Valentine’s Day are trying to get laid. Most guys hate Valentine’s Day. Roses can jump to $100 a dozen in some areas, and giving the obligatory heart of chocolates is cliché and considered cheap. When she says she doesn’t want anything, you guys best know that you had better show up with something, and you had better hope she did not see that damn Lexus commercial.

The legend says St. Valentine died by execution. I am sure it wasn’t just revenge for womanizing. Once Valentine started giving out the gifts, he was doomed; the other men knew women would expect gifts forever. If Val had quietly jumped from bed to bed, he would have died a worn out old man. Nope, he just had to start handing out his flowery business cards. The horny little bastard got what was coming to him; that short, fat, bald, incontinent hit man named Cupid put an arrow through Valentine’s cheatin’ heart.

We now need to find out if the fool that started Sweetest Day is still around, and if he is, we need to lynch his sorry ass.

With eternal love, and all of that other saccharin rot, “Your Valentine,”

James A. Zachary Jr.

2 comments:

Tam said...

My Valentine's Day had a sort of G'n'R tinge: Roses and a CZ-52.

Roses wilt, but pistols are forever. :D

James A. Zachary Jr. said...

Now THAT is true love.

Tam, thanks for stopping by.

Zack